I am Giving you Permission to Rest

Why Women Struggle to Make Time to Take Time

How many of you start your week/day/month/or even your year with an impossible to do list? You feel so great writing it all out but once you see it on paper you're paralyzed. There's no time to do all this, let alone have a life, friends, a relationship, a hobby (stop turning your hobbies into hustles). Even when you are sitting and relaxing you feel guilty and are internally measuring your worth by your productivity. You feel bad for sitting, going to yoga, reading or resting in any fashion. Let me be the first to say what many high-achieving women need to hear: You are not lazy.

You are not broken. You are not a procrastinator. You are not failing because you don’t care. 

You are simply… under-supported.

You’ve been carrying the weight of a vision too big for one pair of hands. You’ve been wearing all the hats: founder, marketer, coach, mother, assistant, partner, accountant, designer, friend, social media manager — and spiritual guide, too. 

Of course you feel stretched. Of course you feel like you’re spinning.

And let’s not even talk about the emotional labor — the holding space for your clients, your family, your friends… and then still showing up for yourself. Hustle culture is killing us.

Hustle culture is a prevalent societal attitude that promotes working long hours at the expense of meeting personal needs. As it turns out, the concept of being a "girl boss" might actually be killing us. That burnout you're feeling isn't all in your head.

In my final year of grad school I was so

B U R N T O U T. At the urging of my parents, I took a 5 day trip down to Mexico to reset, which sounded like a brilliant idea at the time until I got there - and proceeded to spend the first two days of my vacation crying and feeling guilt ridden for not working. At 28 years old, I literally called my dad from Mexico to ask him if it was really ok I was taking a vacation...I had asked my dad for permission to rest. In hindsight that seems insane but I'm sure if you've made it this far in reading some of these things might be ringing a few bells.

If ever you feel stuck in your own head, circling through the same thoughts over and over again, take a deep breath, loosen your shoulders, relax your jaw. Let your body itself remind you, it's okay to just be present here. You do not have to sort through everything in your mind right now. Yes, there is a lot on your plate. But it also might not be humanly possible to work through it all today. 

In an ever-busy world, this is no easy feat. And here you are taking time to slow down and breathe. Even when you still have things left on your to-do list. Even when you still have deadlines that you need to meet and projects you need to complete. Right here, right now you are taking the time and it matters. And when you are at a slower pace, notice how your heart feels and be gentle with whatever comes up. Whether you feel shame or guilt rising up from a past that made you feel like you were not worthy of rest.

Giving yourself space to rest is more than just finding a work/life balance. Find It’s a sacred structure. It’s a rhythm. It’s a place where the ambition in your heart gets to rest in systems that work. And it’s filled with women who understand exactly where you are right now. significant number of women report experiencing burnout. According to a LinkedIn survey, nearly half of working women in the US say they are burned out. Some surveys suggest even higher percentages, with nearly 55% of women experiencing burnout compared to 42% of men. This suggests a notable gender gap in burnout rates, with women disproportionately affected.

So if you’ve been judging yourself for slowing down, for losing momentum, or for not "figuring it all out" fast enough — please take a breath. You don’t need to be fixed. You just need to be held - solidarity - and the grit it takes to sit down and relax. But this is more than just disassociating on your phone for hours doom scrolling dog videos.

This is about finding a something that YOU love to do. It can be reading, writing, crocheting, gardening, baking, bike riding, painting, crafting a giant forty foot Godzilla out of paper mache...anything that brings you peace and joy! And you deserve to rise with support. So tell the people in your life, hey I need a break. Stop hoarding your PTO and use it. Buy that slice of cake and eat in peace and quiet with a good book. In the end, a refreshed and plentiful you leads to bountiful work and productivity. Work/life balance is just a nice sound bite unless you're believing you deserve it. And not that you need it from me, BUT ....

You have my permission to rest.